When my boyfriend comes home from work

c0nstellarations:

whatshouldwecallme:

He’s just like,

When I get home from school my cat meows at me to feed it… Close enough, right?

sebastianthedog:

one night two parents went out for dinner

a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room

the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue

when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers 

(via c0nstellarations)

ME: I'm leaving.
ME: ...
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: Ok. I'm leaving...
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: Bye.
ME: *reblog*

hipster blogs….you are the croc of tumblr

nintendofunclub:

this is you

(Source: foreveralone-lyguy, via derp-the-irrelevant)

squiiiije:

In Flo-Rida’s song “Low” he states that Shawty is wearing the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur AND the Reeboks with the straps, what is she some kind of four legged morph woman? In all honesty I’m not surprised the whole club is looking at her 

(via thatonetheycallchloe)

british: american people are so annoying
chinese: american people are so annoying
mexicans: american people are so annoying
french: american people are so annoying
americans: we are so annoying
canadians: I fucking love maple syrup